


If I Had Been

by KatsInSpace



Category: Chuck (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Parallel Universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 15:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6120496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatsInSpace/pseuds/KatsInSpace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck is sent to an alternate universe where Bryce had failed to prevent the CIA from getting to Chuck. And so far, Chuck is liking it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Had Been

A scream sounds.

Chuck's eyes flash open, jolting up from his bed. He squints through the blurriness in his eyes. He turns to where the scream sounded which had been at his door. “Ellie?” He mumbles sleepily. “Something wrong?”

““Is something _wrong_ ”?” Ellie quotes. “You're kidding me, right?” She has a wide smile on her face. “You're _here,_ and I actually _mean_ here!”

Chuck raises an eyebrow at her odd behavior. “But aren't I always here?” He questions her.

Ellie just laughs. “Not since you moved out after Stanford,” she approaches him, wrapping him in a tight hug. “I missed you so much, Chuck. You hardly ever come to visit,” she leans out of the hug. “Why didn't you ever come to visit?”

Chuck says nothing. He was confused.

Why is Ellie talking as if Chuck didn't live there? Unless something happened that Chuck wasn't aware about, then Chuck's _pretty sure_ that he didn't move out.

“And what happened to your hair?” She looked at it with distaste.

Chuck immediately frowns, moving his hand to fiddle with his hair. “What's wrong with my hair?”

“Chuck,” she says weirdly. “You told me you hated that haircut and that it was impractical. _And_ you told me that your work is strict on dress code.

Chuck frowns. “The Buy More only has uniforms,” Chuck explains. “Other than that, it's not really that strict on dress codes.”

Ellie looks at him with a worried expression. “Are you okay, Chuck?” She places her hand on his forehead.

“What are you doing?”

“Checking for a fever,” she states, removing her hand. “Because you're acting very differently right now. I think you should get some more sleep,” she pushes him to lay down on his back.

“Wha-?” Chuck lets out a confused noise. “I'm fine, Ellie.”

“You are _not,_ ” she insists. “ _Rest,_ Chuck. Get some more sleep and I'll bring you some Chicken Noodle Soup just like old times. How does that sound?”

“Good?” Chuck replies unsurely.

She smiles, standing up from the bed. “Great,” she steps out of his room, turning the light off and closing the door behind her.

Chuck is still laying there, confused. Why was Ellie acting differently? Maybe Casey had an idea.

Chuck stands up from the bed, quietly sneaking out of the room. By how weird Ellie was acting, he couldn't let her find out what he was doing.

Chuck shuts the windows softly, and quickly rushes over to Casey's. He knocks on the door in a rush. “Casey? Casey!” He calls out, still knocking on the door.

Chuck stops when the door opens. A smile of relief shows as he steps back. “Casey-” he cuts himself off when he sees a stranger at the door. He frowns a bit.

“I-I didn't know Casey had company,” Chuck stutters.

The lady in front of Chuck frowns. “There's no one here by the name of Casey,” she informs him.

“Oh! Uh, I wasn't aware he moved out.”

She still had a confused look on her face. “You must have been very busy to not be able to come visit.”

“Excuse me?”

“I've lived here for the past six years.”

Chuck's expression falls a little. “Oh, sorry to bother you.” He gives a small smile before turning back to go back into his room.

Chuck's still frowning to himself when he gets back in his room. “It's not only Ellie,” Chuck mutters to himself. Something was off and Chuck knew it. He didn't remember anything out of the ordinary, or at least as ordinary Chuck can get nowadays. All that happened was Chuck, Casey, and Sarah went to go do a mission, then he went home as normal, and fell asleep. That's it.

Chuck turns around. Maybe his contact to the general still worked here. “Agent Carmichael,” Chuck says aloud to the tv.

Nothing happens. “Agent Bartowski?”

The tv turns on. General Beckman is sitting in her chair, staring back with her usual glare.

' _At least some things never change,_ ' Chuck thinks to himself.

“Agent Bartowski?” General says in an uncommonly confused tone.

“General!” Chuck exclaims in a tone of relief. He never thought he would be glad to see the general. “General, uh, do you know if there was some sort of mass producing thing that changes people's memories?”

She looks at him with furrowed eyebrows, slightly raised. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah,” Chuck draws out. “That probably sounded stupid. But what happened to Casey? I went to his apartment but it was some stranger. She acted as if she lived there for several years.”

“Are you feeling alright, Agent Bartowski?”

Chuck cocks his head slightly. The general seemed a bit off. “I'm fine,” Chuck insists. “But what happened to Casey?”

“Major Casey is fine, and frankly, none of your business.”

Chuck frowns. ' _Major?_ ' “None of my-?” Chuck trails off. “How is it none of my business? How is my handler being missing none of my business? Isn't he, and Sarah, supposed to be watching over me? You know, _the intersect?_ Or did you forget about that?”

Something passes through the general's expression. “How do you know about that?” She asks, tone hard and demanding. “That is a high-level project that only a few know about.”

Chuck looks at her weirdly. “You too, huh?” Chuck says a bit sadly. “I think something happened to me.”

“Explain to me exactly _how_ you found out about the intersect,” she repeats.

“You don't remember how Bryce Larkin sent me the intersect after breaking into the building, then you and Director Graham sending Sarah and Casey to protect me. And then Bryce coming back alive to take down Fulcrum and eventually dying before he makes me destroy the intersect 2.0?”

The general stares at him with an odd look. “I'm requesting Director Graham to send you for a psychiatric evaluation,” she sighs.

' _Not again._ ' “Wait, wait, what? Why?” Chuck stutters. “I'm _not_ crazy if that's what you are implying.”

“Agent Bartowski,” she says with disappointment and frustration. “I nor Director Graham did not send either of those to protect you, you’re perfectly capable of handling yourself. And Agent Larkin didn't break into one of our facilities to steal the intersect, nor is he dead.”

Chuck's eyes widened. “He isn't dead? Bryce isn't dead, since when?” He asks desperately.

“Since he was born,” she says in a rush, sighing at him. “Agent Bartowski, I'm ordering you to go see Director Graham, effective immediately. Good bye.”

“No, wait!” Chuck's shout went unheard. He sighs when he sees regular tv. He collapses back into the bed.

Chuck lays there, trying to analyze what he has just been through. Everyone and everything around him seemed different. As if the intersect was never sent to him, as if Chuck actually graduated Stanford. Why was everything like that?

Chuck turns over onto his side. ' _Bryce is still alive, huh?_ ' He lets a smile onto his face.

It had been a long time since Chuck had seen Bryce. Everything was different, mostly bad. But Bryce being alive? At least something good came out of this nightmare. And hey, Chuck actually graduated Stanford, _without_ being kicked out first.

“If this is all just a nightmare,” Chuck mutters to himself. “Then if I just pinch myself, then I'll be able to wake up.” Chuck nods approvingly. “Yeah, it should work.”

Chuck pinches himself.

He lets out a yelp, “Ow! Okay, so definitely _not_ dreaming.” He rubs his arm to make it feel better. “If I'm not dreaming, then why is everything so different?"

“Parallel universes, do they exist?” The announcer on the tv asked.

Chuck frowns, taking that in. “Parallel universes?” He whispered to himself. “Could I be-” Chuck shakes his head at the absurdity of the idea, but started to consider it again. “But it would make sense.”

Chuck glances at the door. “How am I going to get to the CIA headquarters?”

-.-If I Had Been-.-

Turns out, Chuck didn't really have much to worry about. General Beckman had sent a car to go pick him up. And much to Ellie's dismay, he went with them and was eventually dropped off at the airport, where a helicopter was waiting for him.

After landing at headquarters, Chuck is immediately lead to Director Graham's office.

The director is staring him down with an off and suspicious look on his face. The door was closed behind Chuck and they were the only on there.

And Chuck realizes more and more that the idea of him being in a parallel universe isn't so crazy after all, because that really _is_ Director Graham. Not some person with the same name or a lookalike.

“Are you a hologram?” Chuck flushes red when he realized that he just blurted it out loud.

“General Beckman is right,” Graham says, deciding not to comment on the hologram question. “Something did happen to you. Care to explain what happened?”

"Other than you coming back from the dead? No, nothing is wrong."

“I'm sending you to the psychologist,” Director says after a long pause. He scribbled something onto a piece of paper before picking up the phone and dialing a number.

“Again?” Chuck asks. “I wasn't crazy last time nor am I crazy this time.”

“I've never sent you to the psychologist before, Agent Bartowski.”

“I'm not crazy!” Chuck insisted, practically shouting every word. “Other than everything that I have known being a lie, I'm perfectly fine!” He's agitated. Chuck already went through this once, he doesn't want to go through this again.

“You wanted to see me Director?”

Chuck jerked his head to the side, not turning all the way. “Not now!” He chides the stranger, sparing only the briefest of glances at him. Chuck looks back at the director.

Chuck is too annoyed to notice the change in Director Graham's face. “There's nothing wrong with me, but there's-”

Chuck stops, shutting his mouth and eyes growing wide. He leans back away from the desk before slowly turning around.

There was a man that looked like him. Same height. Same face. Same hair color. Same eye color. But different hair cut. Different expression. Different clothes.

Chuck looks back at Director Graham with a confused and shocked expression, lips parted. “Who's-?” He trails off, pointing at his look alike.

Chuck looks back at his look alike. His expression hardly changed from the slight frown. Chuck knew he was hiding his expression.

“Director?” Chuck asks again, looking back at him.

Chuck flinches when he hears a click behind. Chuck swallows nervously, fearing the worst. “What are you-” Chuck turns around.

“ _Don't_ move,” his look alike tells him. His expression is now hard and completely serious. And he's pointing a _gun_ at him.

“Oh my go-” Chuck yelps, immediately holding his hands up. “Please don't shoot.”

Chuck might have been able to take him down due to the intersect, but his emotions were unstable due to his situation. Plus it would most likely be a bad idea considering it's the CIA.

“So the RING has an agent that looks like you,” Director Graham assumes, telling his look alike.

“No, no, no!” Chuck denies as his look alike is approaching him cautiously. “I'm not part of RING! I'm with the good guys!”

Spy!Chuck grabs his wrists, forcing him to turn around and shoving him against the desk.

“Ow!” Chuck yelps. He feels cold metal snap around his wrists. “You have it all wrong.”

“Take him to one of the cells.”

Spy!Chuck shoves him toward the door, leading him away. “Don't!” Chuck insists. “Don't you think there's something wrong here?” He attempts to persuade him.

“How did you get in here?” Spy!Chuck demands.

' _We even sound alike._ '

“I was lead in here by a helicopter,” he says truthfully. “I contacted General Beckman about Sarah and Casey and everything being different and she brought a helicopter to pick me up and drop me off and then they-”

Chuck cuts himself off when his look alike jerks him to a stop. His spy self opens the code activated door that had been at the end of a hallway. Chuck is shoved to continue walking.

“Stop shoving me,” Chuck complains. He now focuses his eyes in front of him.

Chuck's eyes grow wide, eyebrows scrunching up when he sees someone. There's a hurt expression on his face and his lips are both pouting and parted slightly. His eyes never leave him, even as Spy!Chuck is forcing him to walk. “Bryce,” he whispers desperately.

The expression on Bryce's face is of surprise. It's like that until Chuck can no longer see him.

“Stop.”

His spy self stops, they turn to look at Bryce.

Chuck gasps when he sees Bryce holding his gun up. There's a serious expression on his face.

“Let go of him.”

Chuck wants to smile out of relief but he's still a little bit scared.

“Let _go_ of him,” Bryce repeats slowly, his voice low and hard.

Spy!Chuck stares at him with a hard expression and swallows. He lets go of Chuck, pushing him toward Bryce.

Chuck stumbles forward, falling into Bryce who catches him. Chuck gives a small, shy smile. He had longed to be with Bryce again. He stands up straight, still leaning against him.

“Key,” Bryce demands, voice still hard. A moment later, Bryce is unlocking Chuck's handcuffs and pocketing it. “Are you okay, Chuck?” His hands are on Chuck's cheek. Bryce is staring up into Chuck's eyes, a caring and worrisome look on his face. Bryce seemed to be much gentler with Chuck than he was with his Chuck. Even Chuck's own Bryce hardly looked at him like that. The last few times were no where close to that expression.

Chuck nods.

Bryce smiles out of relief. He's practically beaming at him. “That's good.”

Chuck can't help but beam back at him, chuckling a bit.

Chuck glances back at his counterpart. For the briefest of moments, Chuck had seen something flash onto his expression. But Chuck knew what it was, hurt.

Spy!Chuck's expression turns back to its cold, emotionless face and Chuck instinctively moves closer to Bryce, grabbing onto his arm.

Bryce tugs on Chuck, leading him back to Director Graham's office.

“What are you doing?” Chuck asks. “Director Graham had me sent to a cell! He's not going to believe me.”

“He'll believe me,” Bryce asks.

“What about-?” Chuck motioned back to the other Chuck.

Bryce just shook his head at him, closing the door behind them.

“What is the meaning of this, Agent?” Director Graham demands.

“Director,” Bryce tells him. “I believe this really is Chuck Bartowski.”

“Where's your proof?”

“Project Cross,” he says firmly.

Director Graham looks at him firmly. A few moments pass before he nods.

“Project Cross?” Chuck asks, confused.

Bryce and Director Graham don't say anything.

"Have Agent Bartowski watch over-”

“I'll do it,” Bryce cuts in.

Director Graham stares at him for a moment. “Alright,” he ends up agreeing. “You will watch over him until we figure out a way to send him home. You two are dismissed.”

Bryce nods and leads Chuck out of the room. Once out of the two security doors, Bryce is now much less tense. Chuck notices that his look alike is now gone.

“What's Project Cross?”

“When I went undercover in the RING,” Bryce starts to explain softly. “I found out that they were working on something big. It took me awhile but I eventually found out what it was.”

Chuck looks at him curiously. ' _Is he talking about their intersect?_ ' “What were they working on?”

“Traveling through dimensions.” Chuck's eyes widen. “So I really _am_ in another dimension?”

Bryce nods. “Sorry Chuck.”

Chuck looks down, a sad look on his face. “Do you know know I can go back?” While seeing Bryce again was amazing, he couldn't just leave behind his friends and family. Yes, some were there too, but _his_ friends and family were back home.

Bryce seemed to hesitate. He shakes his head no.

-.-If I Had Been-.-

Bryce had brought him somewhere else in the CIA headquarters. He said that it was better to keep him there since it should be a lot safer.

“But I have you to protect me,” Chuck insisted. “Why can't we go somewhere else? Even if it's a place to eat or an arcade.”

“It's dangerous Chuck,” Bryce tells him, sounding worried. “There's a reason why you were sent here.”

It was weird. Bryce seemed a whole lot more protective of him than the other Chuck. And his own Bryce was not this protective. At least he wasn't when he last saw him.

“But I can protect myself too,” Bryce tensed for a moment. “I'm not completely useless.”

“What do you mean “you can protect yourself”?” Bryce's voice was soft and hesitant.

“I took some training in Prague,” Chuck hesitated. “ _Sure_ I had failed third way through but it's still training.”

Relief shows on Bryce's face. “Okay Chuck,” he sounds a bit happier than before. “We'll do it your way. Where do you want to go?”

Chuck smiles. “Do we have to stay in this area specifically?”

“Director Graham never said anything about that,” Bryce tells him, a knowing expression on his face.

-.-If I Had Been-.-

“You remember that I wanted to go to Paris?”

Chuck says in an amazed voice, as he sees the Eiffel tower in the distance.

“I remember you saying that you wanted to see the Eiffel tower,” Bryce said with a smile, leading Chuck off the plane.

“That was years ago,” Chuck mumbles. He had said it to his own Bryce as a side comment during sophomore year in college.

Chuck stops outside of the airport, looking in amazement at the streets. He smiles widely, breathing out in happiness.

“Are you just going to stand there or do you want to go to the tower?” Bryce stands a few feet away from Chuck, a hand in his pocket, the other pointing to the Eiffel tower behind him.

Chuck looks back down at Bryce and smiles at him.

It was nice to hang out with Bryce again. It had been years since he was comfortably hanging out and talking like this. It kind of reminded him of their Stanford years together.

Chuck catches up to Bryce.

-.-If I Had Been-.-

Chuck and Bryce had been up the tower for awhile. He wanted to stay there for much longer because he didn't know when he would return, if he ever did that is.

“It's pretty high up,” Chuck said weakly.

"Freaked out by the heights?” Bryce questions from where he is positioned right next to him. He had a light-hearted expression on his face.

Chuck looked away, a little red. “It's very _high,_ okay?”

Bryce chuckled, shaking his head as he looks back out at the view.

“It's easy for you,” Chuck said, looking back at Bryce. “You're probably used to it already.”

“I don't actually have time to think about it,” Bryce confesses.

Chuck raises an eyebrow.

“I'm usually too busy running for my life to worry about heights.”

“Speaking of which,” Chuck's sudden changed in subjects causes Bryce to look back at him. “Do you, uh-” Chuck hesitated.

Chuck wanted to know, but he had a feeling he already knew the answer. And it wasn't one he wanted to know.

“Do I what?” Bryce asks him, his expression still gentle.

“Do you work with anyone or do you work alone?”

“I work alone, why?” Bryce asks. “Did the Bryce in your universe work with anyone?”

Chuck faltered. ' _Right. This isn't my, err, the Bryce I know._ ' Chuck constantly had to keep reminding himself of this fact. They were talking so easily together that Chuck kept forgetting.

“Something wrong?” Bryce asks, noticing the subtle change in his expression.

“No, I uh, I just-” Chuck trailed off.

Bryce says nothing, but Chuck knows that Bryce knows he's lying.

“Bryce uh, Bryce did. He did work with someone.”

“Anyone I know?”

“Uh, Sarah?” Chuck says reluctantly. “Sarah Walker?”

Bryce looks thoughtful.

“Blonde? Bluish, greyish eyes? Number one agent?”

Bryce nods. “I've heard of her, and her name is Sandra Phillips.”

Chuck is about to correct him but he remembers that Sarah always switched her names.

“So you don't work with anyone,” Chuck confirms.

“Not recently, why?”

“Not even your Chuck?” Bryce falters at Chuck's words. “Or uh, the one in this universe at least?”

Bryce's expression falls and he tenses up.

“Bryce?” Chuck asks, a bit worried that he had said the wrong thing.

Bryce pushes himself off the railing, starting to walk back to the elevator.

“Bryce?” Chuck asks, pushing himself off the railing, turning to look at Bryce.

“What are you waiting for?” Bryce asks, standing in the elevator, holding it open for him. “I assume you want to know how your family and friends are doing.”

Chuck sighs. He knew it. Something happened between Bryce and this universe's Chuck, and it wasn't anything good.

-.-If I Had been-.-

While Chuck wasn't allowed to actually communicate with them, he was still allowed to see what had happened to them.

After that, they had to go back to the CIA headquarters. Bryce had told Chuck that they were away too long.

But when they were returned, Bryce had to go do something for awhile so his counterpart was called in to watch over him.

Unlike when Chuck was with Bryce, they hardly chatted at all. Chuck attempted to but he was usually just ignored, glared at, or given one word answers.

“So did you really graduate Stanford?” Chuck asked him.

The agent gave him a look.

“I uh, I didn't,” Chuck confesses. “Bryce, well, the Bryce in my universe framed me for cheating. So I was kicked out,” Chuck just shrugs. He wasn't upset about it anymore, he knew why Bryce did it. “But it wasn't for anything bad, well, I didn't know that back then, but I do now.” Chuck pauses, looking at his counterpart. No reaction, except for him looking away again. “He did it to-”

“To save you, I know.”

Chuck looks at him with surprise. His eyebrows are raised high, lips parted as he just stares at him.

The other Chuck Bartowski looks at him with his usual emotionless expression. “Bryce tried that here too.”

“Tried?” Chuck wanted to know.

“I heard his message."

“Professor Fleming's,” Chuck states. He remembered seeing his supposed interview, only for Bryce to show up instead.

He nods.

Chuck pauses, “So, uh,” Chuck hesitated. Chuck wanted to ask him in case he would actually explain. There was a low chance though, considering Bryce didn't. “What's it like? You know, being spies with Bryce?”

Chuck's counterpart flinched.

“Is it all that we imagined back in college?”

A hurt look flashed for just a moment before quickly dissipating.

“Were you able to work with him? How often are you talking? Hopefully more than the Bryce in my universe and I did.”

The other sighed. “We don't exactly get along.”

Chuck looked at him. “What?” Chuck asked, surprised. He expected for this to be, but actually hearing it just struck a nerve in him. “Why? What happened?”

Spy!Chuck buries his face into his hands. “Bryce hates me.”

Chuck looks at him with wide eyes. “Why? Why does Bryce hate you?” He didn't understand. “How could he? He likes me just fine-”

“That's  _you,_ ” the other Chuck says it in a bitter way. “We may both be a Bartowski, but we're _nothing_ alike.”

“But- Chuck,” he says in disbelief.

“Don't call me that,” his counterpart snaps. “No one calls me that anymore, it's Charles.”

“Why are you so-”

“You're just too _soft_ and emotional.”

The way the spy said it, made Chuck realize that it was the end of their conversation.

Chuck looked at him with scrunched up eyebrows. He looked at him with worry while the other was facing away. The other Chuck was a lot more different than what he expected, than Chuck himself.

“Chuck.”

Chuck looks up to see Bryce stand over him.

“Hope Agent Bartowski hasn't given you too much trouble.”

Chuck realizes that it was the first time Bryce actually brought up Charles by name. That there were already hints to their lack of closeness.

“He hasn't,” Chuck stands up next to him before glancing back at Charles who wears a hurt expression, head bowing down.

“That's good,” Bryce says, giving Chuck a smile. “Come on, Chuck,” he says, placing his hand on Chuck's back. “You mentioned that you wanted to go see something?”

Chuck is confused but still allows Bryce to lead him somewhere. It isn't somewhere. It isn't until they stop at a park that Chuck realizes why Bryce had done that. It was so that Bryce could get away from Charles.

“A park?” Chuck questions.

Bryce shrugs. “Do you have another idea?”

Chuck shakes his head. “No,” he tells Bryce as they're sitting down on a bench. “Although I do need to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

“I was uh,” Chuck hesitated. He already asked this question before and Bryce hadn't answered. “I was talking to Charles,” he says cautiously, watching Bryce's expression.

There was no change.

“And I asked him something,” Chuck took a break. “He mentioned that you two weren't on good terms. And that you maybe, kind of, you know, hated him?” Chuck spoke the last part very softly.

Bryce turns away, saying nothing.

“Bryce,” Chuck repeats. “Why are you nice to me, and not to him? You act as if we're two separate people, aren't we the same person?”

After a long pause, Bryce finally speaks. “No,” he says softly. Another pause and Bryce is turning back to look at Chuck. “You're not the same person."

“But we're-”

“You two went through different things and act completely different,” Bryce explains. “You two are different people.”

“But why me and not him?”

“You haven't changed much,” he says with a smile. “The Chuck I see in you is the same, kind-hearted, sweet, open Chuck Bartowski that I knew from Stanford.” He pauses. “And Charles is,” he hesitates, making a sigh of defeat. “He's like me.”

Chuck looks at him in confusion, tilting his head as he furrows his eyebrows slightly. ' _Like him?_ '

“He's-” Bryce starts to explain, noticing Chuck's confusion. “The spy that many people wanted him to be. He went through training and he's nothing like before. He's like any other spy; he's cold, emotionless, manipulative, and the list goes on.”

“That's not fair,” Chuck states, scolding him lightly. “You went through the same thing too, why should it be different? And I did too, at least for a few months I did.”

“Have you killed anyone?”

“No, but I don't see how that has anything to do with things.”

“Charles has,” Bryce says. “And it doesn't affect him, at all. And you haven't. Even though you went through training, you don't kill anyone.”

“I use tranquilizer darts,” Chuck offers weakly.

Bryce shakes his head, turning away. “It's different.”

“But-”

“You seem very focused on Charles and I, Chuck,” Bryce says in defense. “What about you and your Bryce?”

Chuck knows that he's trying to change the topic and he lets him. While Chuck may not get a chance with Bryce again, at least Charles can.

"Have you two not got along well either?”

“Of course we haven't,” Bryce is about to say something but Chuck continues. “But that's only because I thought he had framed for cheating.”

“Even now,” Bryce tries to pry. “You two get along just fine-”

“Bryce is dead.”

Bryce stops, lips parting and expression showing his shock. It was like before where he tried to hide everything.

“The Bryce in my universe is dead,” Chuck repeats softly, feeling his eyes water. “There hadn't been anything between us, even though I hoped there would be. But I don't even know how he felt about me.”

Bryce says nothing for awhile. “How did he die?” He asks softly.

“He died protecting me,” it was technically true, kindof. There were more details surrounding the situation, but that's essentially what happened.

Chuck sighed, suddenly missing Bryce a whole lot more again. Even though _a_ Bryce is sitting right next to him, it's not the Bryce he knew.

Chuck feels an arm around him, feeling himself being pulled closer to him. Chuck lets himself be pulled against his chest. Chuck sighs, feeling tears.

-.-If I Had Been-.-

“We've managed to figure out a way to send you home,” Director Graham tells them after he had sent for Chuck, Bryce, and Charles to meet him in “that room.”

When Chuck had asked what “that room” was, Bryce told him that it was classified. He wasn't even allowed to know where it was.

“Are you ready?” One of the scientists in the room asked him.

“Almost,” Chuck looks at Bryce. "Uh Bryce,” he says with a hesitant look.

What Chuck is going to ask for would be a little embarrassing considering how many others are in the room.

“What's wrong Chuck?”

“Do you, uh, remember what I told you earlier?” Chuck asks, referencing their conversation about Bryce. “I was wondering if you would, you know, if it isn't too much trouble?” He spoke softly, a red flush on his face.

Bryce glances at Director Graham and the scientists before looking at Chuck. “Of course,” he approaches Chuck, sparing Charles a glance before focusing all his attention on Chuck. Bryce leans in, pulling Chuck closer to himself by his waist. He places both hands on Chuck and gently presses his lips against his.

Chuck places a hand on Bryce's chest, the other on his shoulder.

Chuck can't help but think how _amazing_ this feels. He would have loved to do this with the Bryce from his universe. It's an amazing feeling, Bryce holding him so intimately.

Chuck is the one to first back out of the kiss. “Thank you,” he says softly, pulling away from Bryce's arms.

Chuck looks at the scientist. “I'm ready.”

“Step inside the chamber,” he commands.

Chuck does as he follows, seeing a look on Director Graham's face. He didn't know what that look showed, but it was a look.

Chuck spares on last glance at Bryce before the chambers close. This would be the very last time Chuck would see Bryce alive.

“ _Good bye, Chuck,”_ Bryce mouthed to him.

“ _I'll miss you,”_ Chuck mouthed back.

But Chuck doesn't mean him. He means the Bryce he knows and loves.

The Bryce that is dead.

-.-If I Had Been-.-

Bryce lingered a bit after Director Graham had dismissed them. He stared back at the machine that had sent Chuck back to his own universe.

Bryce hadn't known that the CIA was also working on a device that allowed dimension skipping.

As Bryce stared, he couldn't help but think about what Chuck told him.

' _Bryce is dead,_ ' Bryce remembered.

Bryce had noticed Chuck's expression when he had first seen him. It's what had convinced him that Chuck was actually Chuck Bartowski and not a fake.

And judging by how Chuck was acting, Bryce's death hit him _very_ hard. That made him re-think his actions toward Agent Bartowski.

His time with Chuck made him remember the times with Charles, back when he was still Chuck. It made him hurt more how different Charles was from the Chuck he remembered. But Chuck made him realize that he _was_ being unfair.

Bryce hardly spent time with Charles when he was a spy. He just assumed that he was just like any other spy. During the time Bryce was with him, Charles _was_ like any other spy. So Bryce had broken it off with him.

But Bryce only spent time with Charles as a spy during duty, not during his free time. And Chuck was right, he should give Charles a chance.

Especially with how broken up Chuck was about his Bryce.

It made Bryce about how Charles was feeling.

Bryce turns around to see that he was already gone. He rushes to get out into the hallway, hoping to catch up with him. He stops and looks down both sides of the hallway. When he sees Charles, he closes the doors and faces him.

“Agent Bartowski!” Bryce calls, running after him.

Charles stops, looking back to face Bryce. There was a subtle change in his expression but he could tell that Charles was surprised.

After all, Bryce hadn't spoken to him for a long time.

“Charles,” Bryce says as he's stopping in front of him.

“Yes?” Charles asks. He continues hesitantly, “Bryce?”

Bryce nods, subtly telling Charles that it was alright. “Charles, Chuck,” he continues.

Bryce knew the other preferred Charles, but calling him Chuck told him that he wanted to make amends.

“I wanted to apologize-” Bryce starts to say.

“Chuck and I are two different people,” Charles says firmly, before starting to turn around.

Bryce stops him, grabbing his arm. “I know,” he tells him. “But Chuck made me realize that I was being unfair to you.”

“You're not just saying this?” Charles asks hesitantly, hope starting to show.

Bryce nods. “I _do_ love you, Charles.”

“Then why did you kiss him?” Charles relaxed and Bryce could tell that he had let his guard down for him.

“Chuck told me that his Bryce was dead,” Charles tensed when Bryce said this. “He didn't even know if that Bryce felt the same way about him. He didn't want to go back without ever knowing what it felt like.”

Charles is quiet. “So you actually love me?” He asks ater a pause.

“I do.” Bryce hesitates before continuing, “Do you still love me?”

“Yes,” Charles tells him with hesitation.

Bryce beams at him, taking Charles' hands in his own. Charles smiles back.

It's not the same smile from Stanford, but Bryce knew if he hadn't been holding back, that it would have been.

-.-If I Had Been-.-

Chuck flashes his eyes open.

He's back in his bedroom.

Chuck checks the time. It was about the same time from when he had woken up in that universe.

Chuck sits up, searching for his phone. He unplugs it and turns it on. The same date too. It was as if he hadn't been there at all.

But Chuck _knows_ it happened. Everything felt too real to have been just a dream. He remembers doing all those things with Bryce. He remembers _kissing_ Bryce.

Chuck sighs, touching his lips as he remembers the feel of Bryce.

A wave of sadness moves over him.

While Chuck had _finally_ been able to do that with Bryce, it would be the last time. And it wasn't with his own Bryce.

Chuck snaps out of his stupor when he feels his phone vibrate, ring resonating in his room.

It was Casey.

At least Chuck knew he was back in his own universe.

“Yeah Casey?” Chuck answers.

“Castle,” he says, his voice gruff. “Now.”

With that, he hangs up. Chuck sighs and forces himself out of bed. He needed to get ready.

-.-If He Had Been-.-

Chuck enters Castle through the Orange Orange.

So far, he doesn't see Casey or Sarah at the meeting table. “Casey?” He calls out.

“In the infirmary,” Sarah calls back.

Chuck notices that her voice was a bit off. He couldn't think of a reason why.

Chuck walks into the infirmary. He almost faints right there at what he sees.

“You just gonna stand there or are you going to help?” Casey asks firmly.

Chuck manages to breathe despite what he sees.

“ _Bartowski,_ ” Casey repeats.

“I told you not to call him,” he says, groaning in pain.

“Bryce,” Chuck breaths.

He's actually _there_ in front of him, and _alive_ and _breathing._

“You're alive,” Chuck said breathlessly. “I don't-” he trails off, taking a step closer to him.

Bryce's shirt was off and he could see how many scars he had. From cuts to gunshots, Chuck saw it all.

Chuck's eyes focus on his latest. It seemed like that Casey and Sarah had It under control. They were almost finished with bandaging him up. They were just finishing up the bandage that would wrap around his abdomen, being cautious of the one on his thigh and shoulder.

“Bryce,” Chuck repeats, now standing next to him. Chuck glances at Casey and Sarah desperately. “Can I have some alone time with him?”

Sarah hesitates and Casey just walks out. The door is locked behind them, signaling Chuck that it was now sound proof.

Chuck looks back at Bryce with a hurt expression. He sees Bryce flinch. “I thought you were dead,” he says with a fragile voice. “I saw you _die_ Bryce, you died right in front of me!” Chuck feels his eyes water.

“I'm sorry Chuck,” Chuck knows that Bryce actually means it.

“Why didn't you tell me,” he says a bit softer than before. “I mourned for you.” Chuck feels tears.

Bryce reaches up and grabs Chuck, pulling him closer to his own body. He wraps his arms around his neck and shoulders, bringing Chuck close.

“I missed you,” Chuck sobs as he embraces Bryce tightly. “Why didn't you come sooner?”

“I didn't know you cared so much,” Bryce said honestly. “I never bothered because I thought that you still hated me.”

“Of course I care,” Chuck tells him. He can't help but blurt out his next sentence. “I _love_ you, Bryce.”

Chuck freezes.

He hadn't meant to say that.

Chuck pushes away from Bryce, turning away as he tinges red. “I-I uh,” he stutters.

Chuck refused to see Bryce. He was too scared to see his reaction. “I'll uh, I'll go,” he mumbles, rushing to the door.

“Chuck,” Bryce calls.

When Chuck tries it, it doesn't open.

“Chuck,” Bryce calls out again.

“Darn it,” Chuck curses to himself, banging his head against the door.

“Chuck.”

Chuck jumps when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns his head, seeing Bryce standing right next to him. He swallows nervously.

“You shouldn't be standing up,” Chuck tells him, both in worry and attempting to change the subject. “Your thigh is hurt.”

“I'm fine Chuck,” he insists in a calm voice. Bryce places his hand on Chuck's arm, turning him around. “What did you say earlier,” his voice is still gentle.

Chuck breathes nervously. “I-I didn't-”

“Chuck, tell me,” Bryce cuts him off, looking into his eyes. “Please.”

Chuck says nothing for a few minutes, still looking at him. “Bryce, I,” Chuck hesitates. “I, uh,” Chuck flushes red, unable to repeat it. “I'm uh, I'm-”

Bryce just smiles, taking his other hand and placing it on Chuck's cheek.

Chuck breathes nervously at the closeness of him. “Bry-” he's cut off when Bryce leans forward, placing his lips on his. Chuck feels his face grow warm.

The kiss ended as soon as it started.

“I love you too Chuck,” Bryce tells him.

Chuck smiles back at him.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: My tumblr is Hernando-Hale. Criticism is welcome.


End file.
